tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65735732011-06-13T14:19:09.123-05:00Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right, But Three Rights Make a Left.Saranoreply@blogger.comBlogger4311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-87153823357953536042007-03-06T16:08:00.000-06:002007-03-06T16:20:08.496-06:00

I forgot to mention that this past weekend my Mom and I made a "spontaneous" trip to Anthropologie where the above apron was purchased by Mother for Daughter. Now I can cook with vintage flair! Mom also noted that though the apron looks like a dress, it is in fact backless "which men would like". And that concluded all of the sex talk I will be having with my mother for the next infinity.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-18042851750869015732007-03-06T10:29:00.000-06:002007-03-06T11:08:21.767-06:00

For about 3 years now I have been known to plop down in front of the TV and watch Food Network's In the Kitchen line up both Saturday and Sunday mornings. I love to eat and I love to cook. Watching this channel helps with both of those things.Recently, a few of the hosts of these shows are starting to get on my nerves. I don't know if it's because all of my bitter practice is finally paying off,

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-46837243151786646792007-02-28T13:16:00.000-06:002007-02-28T13:55:45.875-06:00

My mom is coming to visit me this weekend. She's flying on a plane alone for the first time. When she told me that I was a little shocked, but quickly reminded myself that she's been with my Dad since they were 16 years old and anywhere she's had to fly, he's been right there with her.I probably love my Mom more than anyone else in the world. Recently I was thinking about some of the mom stuff

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-89181360821099634072007-02-27T12:54:00.000-06:002007-02-27T13:20:39.580-06:00

If you haven't seen Billy Joel smack his ass to his own music, you haven't lived!My friend Jacob graciously invited me to a Billy Joel concert last night and can I just express how nice it was to be hanging out with the older crowd who doesn't find it necessary to stand the whole time? Sara likes to sit and drink while the music plays. Creature of comfort or elderly woman?I'm ready for spring.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-77731451046559534752007-02-26T12:27:00.000-06:002007-02-26T13:47:04.160-06:00

Anyone still creep back over to this site looking for neurotic, weirdly written posts authored by someone who may or may not be drunk right now? If so, HEY! I've really missed you! Missed knowing that you were lurking about wondering about me! If you liked my blog and hate me for disappearing, I totally understand. I hate when bloggers do that too! But neat! Why so many "!!!!!!!"'s? I don't know!

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1134073883677057332005-12-08T14:24:00.000-06:002005-12-14T13:50:28.496-06:00

UPDATE: I'm still trying to figure out where I want to go with my blog (blogger, diaryland, etc.) and have decided to put off a final decision until after the new year. Man, it feels nice to put something off until the next year. I PROMISE to e-mail everyone back who has e-mailed me with future info, including others who I know read and who I already have addresses for. And if you feel weird

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1133324347081694572005-11-29T22:13:00.000-06:002005-11-29T22:19:07.100-06:00

"Dear Beth,Get over yourself.Love, The Gauntlet 2"Gold! GOLD!! Couldn't have said it better myself. Hello, my name is Sara and I am WICKED ADDICTED to reality television. p.s. Exactly how old are Syrus and Beth? OLD. Nies old.

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1132664924042565482005-11-22T06:55:00.000-06:002005-11-22T07:12:33.616-06:00

Just cuz I can, I'm totally remembering this time last year. The days leading up to meeting the best sex and worst break-up I've ever known, and how gosh darn skinny I was. Fuck. Those were the days.Though I do have a tendancy to reminisce about dude, I am soooo over and past him as I very well should be nearly a year later. But the reminiscing? Totally addictive and fun. And when you can

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1131815539094583782005-11-12T11:06:00.000-06:002005-11-12T11:13:47.940-06:00

I have to have Madonna's new single "Hung Up" immediately. That performance on the (European?) MTV video music awards last night only makes my mouth water right now thinking about it. I really miss dancing sometimes. Showing off in Step Class doesn't quite do it for me anymore. I need one of those strip aerobics classes THEN we could call it a day. Damn south.p.s. I have a feeling I'm

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1131753646445375962005-11-11T17:38:00.000-06:002005-11-11T18:19:00.803-06:00

It's been a month since I've been in this new city and I just now found the liquor store.Right?Here I sit drinking my Amaretto, Orange, and Pineapple Juice (Melllllliissaaaaaa!), enjoying the rest of my Veteran's Day off of work. I've had quite the time stretching out eleven dollars worth of fun. So much so that I stretched it into $53.75*. A girl of my petal soft willpower can't just walk

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1131505370837618352005-11-08T20:46:00.000-06:002005-11-08T21:08:19.963-06:00

Glory. I experienced my first Bikram (hotter than hades) yoga class this evening and I am in love. I believe I've mentioned before how I feel the need to show off in all aerobics type classes because "lieeeeeke, I was totally a dancer and I pick up all the moves FAST and look! I'm thuper flexible...OUCH. AM NOT 16 ANYMORE." But won't let that stop me from killing myself whilst trying to

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1131289798288453542005-11-06T09:01:00.000-06:002005-11-06T09:09:58.316-06:00

But I love!

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1131200152701718682005-11-05T08:02:00.000-06:002005-11-05T08:28:38.306-06:00

Now that I have big girl paychecks again, I also have big girl bills. Which leaves me about eleven dollars after all has been taken out. You think I keed with the eleven dollars? Nope. I get confused after I budget my money as to how much "extra" I should leave hanging around. When I had my first job post grad school I thought I was richie rich and would frolick along the aisles of Target

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1131067682059885382005-11-03T19:15:00.000-06:002005-11-03T19:28:02.120-06:00

Let me just ask this: What ever happened to a good old fashioned asshole blowing you off after you sleep with him? Gah. What I wouldn't give for a no strings attached right now.I'm such a bitch, but neat. Can a girl just have a good time and be left alone to wallow in her bitter world of not wanting to date because she's still licking her wounds?Wanna know what'll happen if I give the nice guy

Saranoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1130786411852686762005-10-31T13:05:00.000-06:002005-10-31T13:25:46.703-06:00

Shhhh, I'm at work. Which I will totally not talk about because work? Rules! Yay for working at the totally fair work place that will not fire me.Saturday night, debauchery. Shenanigans... Wild and Crazy... pictures I don't remember taking after the 15th one.If you haven't checked out the moblog over there, you are not aware of my most awesome costume: Preggers Britney Spears. Oh the looks

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1130329189141604802005-10-26T06:41:00.000-05:002005-10-26T17:59:45.673-05:00

Howdy Ho, y'all! Hope everyone is starting their day off as loverly as mine - reading blogs, drinking fabulously fresh Cinnamon Butter Cookie coffee (with half and half since I'm special), and snuggling up in the softest robe in the world. Sorry for the lack of posting. Before I moved here I was all "2005 Blogging Addiction back in full swing - woo! Posting everyday! Sometimes twice!".

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1129386476522734702005-10-15T09:16:00.000-05:002005-10-15T11:20:53.293-05:00

It's sort of a scary morning when you go to the computer screen and the first page you see (with a total loss of memory) is "your blog has published". Luckily, my drunk post was short, sweet, and not as obscure and retarded as I've been known to do in the past. Y'all? Hangovers + not such a young thing anymore or maybe I just drink more than those young thing days = ASS. TOTAL AND COMPLETE

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1129366900610866602005-10-15T03:53:00.000-05:002005-10-15T11:20:08.906-05:00

there's nothing new to add. am/was/are/will totally be tomorrow morning drunk.ever wonder what it's like to pass out at a bar sitting up? Relaxing.Seriously.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1129126697295606452005-10-12T09:16:00.000-05:002005-10-12T09:18:17.346-05:00

Seriously, it's totally been that. I'm now at the point where I can laugh about all of the delays in getting settled in, but I was down right pissed for a while. My most recent error? The cable company. Because I can't get ANY reception on my cell phone inside my apartment, the phone didn't ring when the cable people were on their way last Friday. So even though I sat in an empty apartment

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1128963048046801652005-10-10T11:45:00.000-05:002005-10-10T11:50:48.053-05:00

I'm totally at work and although I don't have access to personal e-mail accounts, blogs, or anything else at that important level of importance, I am able to actually come up with blog posts.This is going to be quick because I have to go to another orientation on benefits.My stuff (as in furniture, dishes, bras) is not here yet. The truck is supposed to come today or tomorrow, which is 3-4 days

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1128556867083468472005-10-05T18:54:00.000-05:002005-10-05T19:01:07.090-05:00

Sweet!My apartment rules!Happy!Wine!Spaces and exclamation marks!Oh, friends. I did it. I made it happen and I'm here and I love it. I'm at this rock star's apartment right now being properly served with wine and appetizers. My apartment people haven't painted my apartment or cleaned it yet, but I? Am so not caring. I have the next four days to gradually make my little studio into a lovely

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1127920211238119952005-09-28T09:29:00.000-05:002005-09-28T10:26:37.790-05:00

There's not much going on right now except a party in my chair (aka The "I'm Movin' to 'Bama In One Week" jig) and cinnamon pecan coffee guzzling. Oh, how I love Cinnamon Pecan Day. So, is anybody here a winker? And I don't mean the type of winker that falls into the occasional-rarely category. I'm talking about the people that wink after any offering of sarcasm or jokey-joke...that kind of

Saranoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1127791017057979042005-09-26T22:11:00.000-05:002005-09-26T22:34:52.176-05:00

Looky who found some old high school pics! Ah, yes....the glory days of high school drill team in Texas. Sparkly sequins, petty politics, and a gall darn 25 inch waist. And what do we have here? Prom 1998 and what appears to be an addiction to the tanning bed. Why did my mom let me walk out of the house wearing this? Total Ho Wannabe. All of us! Just look at those midriffs! I'm on the

Saranoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1127400548583305992005-09-22T09:30:00.000-05:002005-09-23T08:59:16.000-05:00

In less than two weeks, my keester will be sleeping on the floor of an Alabama apartment (bed will arrive later in the week). And I? Can't wait. Think I've packed? Nope. Think I've practiced my Alabama accent? Totally. I knay y'all are jus dyin' foh-wer a snippet. So there ye gay.A few people have given me those fabulous looks of disapproval when I've mentioned moving to Birmingham, AL.

Saranoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1127165878890599732005-09-19T16:30:00.000-05:002005-09-19T16:37:58.900-05:00

I probably do know why, but am just gonna go with I don't. I really feel strongly that people should know......that I read In Her Shoes before the movie came out.I feel the need to tell waaaay too many people about this, so I'm just gonna drop my literary flare like it's hawt in one fell swoop on the ole inny.Now I feel better.

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1126929639049721132005-09-16T22:34:00.000-05:002005-09-16T23:04:15.753-05:00

Oh man, is 40 Year Old Virgin hilarious. I thought it was gonna be a major cheese fest - and it was, but better and sort of tasteful. I always get a shitty audience to watch movies with. I swear I had to hold in 1/3 of my laughter because I didn't want to sound like an idiot while everyone else was all "we get it. having toys above your kitchen cabinets makes you a 'nerd' and adds all the

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1126535955375230982005-09-12T12:02:00.000-05:002005-09-12T12:11:50.053-05:00

I think the stress of changing jobs and plans to move to another state has taken its toll on my body. I have never been so broken out in my life and I'm at a weight I haven't seen since 2002, otherwise known as "The Year Sara Went to France and Ate A Lot of Cheese. Damn Good Cheese."I no longer have a gym membership. The money that was once used for that is now being saved for moving costs and

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1126298545048034382005-09-09T15:39:00.000-05:002005-09-09T15:42:25.056-05:00

Get here now please.Sincerely,Patience Running Thin

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1126288316751806272005-09-09T12:44:00.000-05:002005-09-09T12:51:56.756-05:00

I'm kicking off my "Get the Hizell Out of Texas" farewell by visiting my aunt and uncle's ranch this weekend. We're talking real live Yee-Haw action, people. Waking at dawn, feeding the horses, riding out on a super powered golf cart in the pastures to check on cows (involves a lot of "twat talk" and holding in violent city girl laughter), and sleeping in the most peaceful silence I have ever

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1126018578287268302005-09-06T09:13:00.000-05:002005-09-06T09:56:18.330-05:00

During times like these, I feel compelled to block out the things that I can't handle. It is easier to watch the news now than it was toward the end of last week, but still too hard sometimes. This year in my life has shown me what it truly feels like to be weak. The added pressure of being an adult coupled with the expectation for self-sufficiency has been my perpetual struggle for 2005.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1125461405225387762005-08-30T22:26:00.000-05:002005-08-30T23:22:32.103-05:00

Tagged by the Match Game Lovin', Phantom Farter Mikey.10 years ago - I was the sweet age of 15, living with the parents of course, and probably out smokin' a doob while trying not to get caught. Not much has changed. Just kiddin'. Sort of.5 years ago - Living in the annoying town of College Station, TX and working at Target. Which totally reminds me of this blog I found today. Sweet! 1 year

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1125410285493602832005-08-30T08:48:00.000-05:002005-08-30T09:02:35.496-05:00

I've heard I will be blocked from blogs at my new job in Birmingham. I guess they actually want you to get work done. Until then, I'm going to drink my Chocolate Raspberry flavored coffee (another perk of this job is the featured flavored coffee of the day. You know it's gonna be a good day when there's Cinnamon Pecan.) and read through blogs with a subtle case of paranoia that causes me to

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1125334233892389382005-08-29T11:49:00.000-05:002005-08-29T11:54:56.253-05:00

I mentioned that I had retired from the handbag profession recently, right? And am now doing administrative-y/market-y type stuff for a very successful real estate office? Until I move to Birmingham? Good. Because even though I just sort of did, I really don't want to have to go through all of that again. I'd rather just get to the good stuff, like how the lady I work with brings me bacon

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1124817547200112782005-08-23T11:54:00.000-05:002005-08-23T12:31:25.696-05:00

I could go on and on (and on) about how exceptionally excited I am about being offered a great job in a new city, but I completely forgot that I have a story that I meant to tell from earlier this month.I totally got someone fired.It all happened when I was working as a bag lady, you see. From the beginning of my employment, I worked with a very spazzy, bossy old woman who reeked of smoke and

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1124414697904295642005-08-18T20:24:00.000-05:002005-08-18T20:27:55.796-05:00

I'm a little confused right now. No, more than usual. For the first time since moving to Texas, for the first time this year, the grand pendulum of life has swung to the good side. I've got yin, bitches! Yin is back! Yang can kiss it for awhile. Seriously.Earlier today, I was not only offered the Birmingham position, but I was offered about $5,000 more in salary than I expected. I'm

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1123742282491623012005-08-11T01:16:00.000-05:002005-08-11T01:38:02.520-05:00

I've decided to pursue a job in Birmingham, Alabama. I have friends that I went to grad school with that work there doing exactly what I should have been doing all along. This morning my father stated that I'm "taking the easy way out" by not sticking it out here a little longer and seeking out a job that pays only as much as I was making in Florida. To him I say "neat". I'd like to know what

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1123050829766961402005-08-03T01:12:00.000-05:002005-08-03T01:33:49.773-05:00

A-Age: 25B-Blood Type: O+C-Candy you prefer: Reeses Peanut Butter Cups or Dove Dark ChocolatesD-Dream that frequently returns: can't recallE-Easiest person to talk to: JD F-Favorite songs at the moment: anything I know all of the words to and can belt out. G-Game you currently play: finish the glass H-Hometown: Dallas I-Instruments: piano J-Job you wanted to get once: therapist (haaaaaaaaaaaa.

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122800255528376602005-07-31T03:57:00.000-05:002005-07-31T15:35:50.420-05:00

- I finally stumbled upon reliable proof that I am adopted. There was a pizza ordered last night and minus the 4 pieces that I hogged down after work yesterday, it's ALL STILL THERE TODAY AS IN A DAY LATER UNTOUCHED. Hard. Factual. Evidence, People. Who leaves a perfectly leftover pizza around...ever? - Tip to females: Be very wary of the Really Good Orgasm. Unfortunately, it landed me in

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122656722342825402005-07-29T12:03:00.000-05:002005-07-29T12:05:22.346-05:00

Well that was cute.

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122610448768733722005-07-28T23:33:00.000-05:002005-07-28T23:41:51.546-05:00

Know why I see bad relationships all around me? Because I ain't in one right now. It just makes it that much easier because I'm not affected by The Blur. Please excuse while I kneel down and give the holy praise. High and mighty on relationships, I will never be. Thus Sayeth The Bitter. (See how my pride likes to STILL sneak in there? See what I have to deal with every day? Wine?)Update 5

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122607261381653622005-07-28T22:20:00.000-05:002005-07-28T22:27:24.140-05:00

Buck the fuck up.(but seriously don't go too far away cuz we're temporarily allowing ourself to be led right now. and maybe letting reality t.v. sway us more than usual.)Absolutes equal Chocolate Crack Covered Buttered Baguette(s),Sara

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122598043138452072005-07-28T19:30:00.000-05:002005-07-28T23:55:49.963-05:00

No matter how I prepare for rejection, the shit always hurts. In this case only a little, but still! So no second interview and no Big Girl Job yet. And as much as the pr0n store would normally cheer me up or at least get my endorphins going because DUDE, WHAT IF SOMEONE SEEEEEEEEEEEES (I know, But I STILL CARE!)? IT'S STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE! I'M INNOCENT AND TOTALLY DON'T BELONG HERE. Right.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122441520540148462005-07-27T00:13:00.000-05:002005-07-27T00:18:40.546-05:00

The date went well. A little confusing in that I'm not used to having a conversation with a potential male romantic partner where the intellect is hard to keep up with, but that's a good thing, right? That's what I want, hmmm?Still not sure. The kiss was fine but uncomfortable...the leading up to it, rather.I just can't put my finger on this one. Good. Ambiguous non-plan dating is what I

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122417743408460502005-07-26T17:37:00.000-05:002005-07-26T17:42:23.416-05:00

I have a date in T minus one hour and twenty minutes.I'm not excited about it and really don't want to do my hair.It's at the same place Cowboy and I had our first official date (not my suggestion).I wanna call in sick, but I'm sticking it out for Y'ALL.

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122309629167762652005-07-25T11:02:00.000-05:002005-07-25T11:40:29.240-05:00

The interview went well. More importantly, this job is a lot more exciting and has a lot more rrom to grow than I previously thought. I will know about a second interview at the end of this week (they're narrowing it down to 5 or 6 people - HOLY, that's a lot of competition) and from there they would like to have the new hire start in the middle of August. To prevent my usual pattern of

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122264155631546972005-07-24T22:50:00.000-05:002005-07-24T23:11:29.180-05:00

I was trying to prevent jinxing myself by not posting about this, but the fact that I've put it off until now is record for me anyway. Playing things cool just ain't my bag, baby, apparently. I have another job interview Monday. Right now, I'm harboring some extreme moodiness and am easily pissed off at anything that moves. Some call this PMS, but they better not fucking call it that right

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1122168047693538462005-07-23T20:20:00.000-05:002005-07-23T20:28:16.550-05:00

I'd heard of 'em for awhile, even seen Ms. Blakely herself on one of the many reality shows I was able to watch due to a predictable schedule last fall, but never did I dare try them because really. Like I wear pantyhose. Well, today my ass was properly slapped into shape because hallelujah, God has given me the High Waisted Power Panty.I'll now take the time to answer some questions that may

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1121576131242800842005-07-16T23:41:00.000-05:002005-07-16T23:59:54.356-05:00

Recently, I've become very aware of snobbery. I've recognized it in other people and certainly in myself, which sometimes bugs me, but neat. At least I'm thinking about it. But y'all? I stayed in a Motel 6 two nights ago (they remodeled them a few years back so no biggie, right?) and there were three Not At All Sara hairs in my bed. One from what had to be from a Dallas crack ho wig, one

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1121321963016899852005-07-14T01:10:00.000-05:002005-07-14T01:49:05.420-05:00

You make a decision. It's not The Decision, but dammit, it's A decision. One that's backed up by a combination of general life experience(s), heartache, desires, and a lot of other shit I'm not able to articulate tonight into anything better than "why you don't wanna hurt anymore". You're soooooo not gonna get hurt NOW. No siree bobski, not when you're "bitter" and "hard" as a result of your

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1121155017823130662005-07-12T02:51:00.000-05:002005-07-12T03:00:19.390-05:00

No pies were made, but a funk was relieved with this. And with this (you can eat the crunchwrap in the car. genius!). Now I know how to answer the damn annoying "if you could invite aaaaaanyone - dead or alive - to dinner who would it be?" question. Why Mr. Bell, for starters. Did you know that Taco Bell sells more Mexican food than all of the Mexican food restaurants combined in the U.S.?

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1121100318919444462005-07-11T11:37:00.000-05:002005-07-11T11:45:18.930-05:00

Today is the last day off of my unpaid vacation. Instead of sleeping and deciding that showering is "just pointless, man", I'm going to get off of the keester and, like in the old days, make a list of To Do's.Ah, internet! I forgot to tell y'all about my new quest in life: making the perfect pie crust. There's pure lard sitting in my parents pantry right now. Sweet! Anyway, I made three pies

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1120926239467865812005-07-09T11:20:00.000-05:002005-07-09T12:34:45.550-05:00

With much resistance to admit this to myself (and the internet because Hoo Boy, vulnerability? Not Sara!), I have come to the conclusion that I am someone that falls in love easily. Romantic love, friendship love, it's all the same - I am a faller. From an early age I have been attracted to the uniquenesses I find in people, and sadly on the other end of those uniquenesses (sometimes) are some

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1120845476953367272005-07-08T12:43:00.000-05:002005-07-08T12:57:56.996-05:00

Yesterday, I was supposed to leave for the lovely beach town of Pensacola, FL to get away from the purses, the family, to be with friends, and to drink a cooler's worth of beer on the beach. You think it worked out? Hell. Naw. I have 5, count 'em, FIVE days off and for the first time in my life I'd rather be at work. Those pesky little hurricanes have now interfered with something FUN I

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1120486107743759552005-07-04T09:04:00.000-05:002005-07-04T09:08:27.760-05:00

Happy Fourth of July! I'll be celebrating my freedom today by selling handbags, but the store hours are short and the pay is time and a half. And if I wasn't out of this house I would be eating everything that was in sight, so, in the words of Friendish #1, "YAY? Yay! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay."

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1120230022894678722005-07-01T09:39:00.000-05:002005-07-01T10:05:41.383-05:00

This morning at a purse meeting (who knew this job would come with meetings...about purses! I guess there is so much to know, ye consumers.) I learned two things: 1. According to my manager, I will now be referred to as a "fashion leader" for our big summer sale that's coming up. That means I am responsible for knowing all of the trends in the fashion industry pertaining to handbags. Hi,

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1120190309432201502005-06-30T22:54:00.000-05:002005-06-30T23:00:24.460-05:00

It's time for my positive post of the week. I was just invited to join yet another friendster/myspace kind of thing called hi5 by a girl I went to high school with. An intelligent, charming person who had that kind of personality that everyone loved (How do y'all DO THAT? Anyways.) as I'm sure she still does. There's an option to write a "testimonial" that lets your "friends" give a brief

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1119998568835005332005-06-28T17:32:00.000-05:002005-06-28T17:44:52.440-05:00

For the past two days, I have tested the limits of lazy. Just how lazy can one lazy person get you may ask? Well, I believe a lot of it has to do with context. I'll start out by saying that I have a job, but because I hate being there I left one hour into my shift on Saturday. See, if I didn't have a job, not so lazy, right? Second, I haven't been working out for a couple of weeks like I

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1119673093039309312005-06-24T22:49:00.000-05:002005-06-24T23:20:01.733-05:00

I haven't kicked this much ass on mouth popping noises ever, y'all. I guess all it took was some dry fucking lips, a lack of the required 64 oz. of agua, 2 glasses of Chardonnay, and will.I really wish y'all could hear this amazingly articulate poppity pop pop that I am creating over here in Dallas, TX. It's so sweet.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1119499243262969082005-06-22T22:55:00.000-05:002005-06-22T23:00:43.283-05:00

Now that I've gotten the positive shit out of the way (hee), I've got some complaining.You know what's not cool? Shoulder zits. Like, how am I gonna just NOW be gettin' shoulder zits? Damn.

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1119372777430997302005-06-21T11:48:00.000-05:002005-06-21T11:53:53.126-05:00

If you haven't noticed, I've been a little bit negative lately. More accurately, this year. I'm annoyed by it, but I'm choosing to let it overwhelm me. In an attempt to counterbalance all of the bitching and complaining, I'm going to try and write at least one positive post per week. Because there really are some great things going on in my life like TV.Seriously, TV is one of like three of

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1119237414033299992005-06-19T22:10:00.000-05:002005-06-19T22:19:58.260-05:00

If one more person "awwwwwwwwwww"'s me when I tell them that I actually enjoy drinking wine by myself, a smack will be had. It's a helluva lot more fun than hanging out with your boring ass.You know what else is more fun, Friendish #1? Not asking me what I did today followed by the word "yay" a million times."So you had the day off today, yaaaay. Did you have a good day off today, Sara? Yay?

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1119157949172280592005-06-19T00:11:00.000-05:002005-06-19T00:51:19.446-05:00

I only asked how you were doing. Not if you needed help or if you were trying to find something, just a nice little greeting question. Most would respond with "fine" or "good, how 'bout yourself?" or "neat", not with "I'm just looking" - it doesn't answer my question, it just makes an assumption, Bitchy McCunt (p.s. Reminder: Am human. Thanks.) I don't care if you're "just looking", I don't

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1118937219806086532005-06-16T10:50:00.000-05:002005-06-16T12:33:36.893-05:00

To bring myself back into the blogging world properly, I am hungover. And I don't take no shit when I'm hungover, yo. Ironically, I like to think of it as "clarity time". One of the rare times in my life where I'm not "people" "pleasin'". Sayin' "NO" comes "natural". Like "quotations in quotations". (Dude, so need your picture right now.)So I needed a break...from something. And I chose my

Saranoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1118421988835887852005-06-10T11:38:00.000-05:002005-06-16T11:31:14.650-05:00

For the first time in my life, I have worked out on my own every week for four months. And some days, this one in particular, it is really fucking hard to make myself do it. More often than it is hard to round up the motivation to put on work out clothes, drive to the gym, and figure out just how I'm going to burn off the calories for the day, it is exhilirating and energizing and all of that

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1118116262627896062005-06-06T22:36:00.000-05:002005-06-10T11:48:47.150-05:00

I told my Mom last night as she was rubbing my feet (shut up. you're completely jealous. and maybe a little weirded out.) that this year has sucked for me so far. One disappointment after another since literally the beginning of the year. Major relationship disappointment, 2 very promising job rejections, minimal responses to the 30+ job openings applied for, weight gain, weight loss, weight

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1118114312169422412005-06-06T21:31:00.000-05:002005-06-16T11:26:11.060-05:00

I remembered my high school prom this afternoon while laying out at my gym's pool. It was one of those flashes of a moment that can stir up an emotion as if it were fresh and new. As the beginning of the last song of the night started playing, I was asked to dance by some guy that I only had a vague acknowledgement of from my sophomore year history class. He rocked a mean mullet, stood about

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1116479477441528972005-05-18T23:42:00.000-05:002005-05-19T00:35:13.070-05:00

I came up with the blog post of all blog posts in my head two days ago. Y'all woulda hahaha'd at all of the funny descriptives of my first attempt at knitting with hilariously appropriate yet obscure 50 Cent lyrical commentary and pictures of the totally not successful Teach Yourself How to Knit a Wine Coozy (from Target. w/DVD, which was the clencher for me. I can follow a lasagna recipe, so

Saranoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115955467173573652005-05-12T22:31:00.000-05:002005-05-12T22:37:47.180-05:00

In honor of my parents being out of town and me having this whole big ole house to myself, I deem DEEM! this night as pants-less. and of course wine filled. I haven't been alone in almost 4 months. Yee! (But shhhhh...it's kind of lonely. but the not having to wear pants is totally making up for it.)This wine you guys? Tastes like grape juice. I try a new wine out every time I go to the

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115917660188761822005-05-12T11:57:00.000-05:002005-05-12T22:40:20.940-05:00

It's officially time to roll out the red carpet and declare that I, Sara Blankity, am ready to start dating again.*cheers* Now that I have made an official proclamation, I am almost guaranteed not to get asked out or meet anyone worthy. Yes, worthy! Here are my reasonable and unreasonable requests should you feel the need to take me out:1. Please have a college degree. (funny how I haven't

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115856165343707082005-05-11T18:53:00.000-05:002005-05-11T19:02:45.356-05:00

1. Most of the world (AHEM, DUDES) would rather endure torturous acts of pain than to admit that there is one itty bitty teensy weensy chance that they may be wrong. Me included. wee! But I'm working on it.(Seriously, it's okay to admit you're wrong, people. And to do it without a lot of uneccesary commentary to protect your, shit, whatever it is that you're scared of losing.)2. Hate breeds

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115562064688110792005-05-08T09:17:00.000-05:002005-05-08T09:21:05.763-05:00

I am wide awake, kids. For the record, I hate when people say that, in addition to calling me sweetie if you are shorter than me or are my age. Please don't call me sweetie, kids. Anyways, I got on this computer at 11ish last night, and didn't leave until about 3am. Now I'm debating working out before I go to work. Oh lordy, work. Have I mentioned Pushy Smells Like Smoke and Bad Perfume [

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115524885924980542005-05-07T22:58:00.000-05:002005-05-07T23:41:35.493-05:00

I just got back from a party with my parents. My mom drank two sexy tablespoons of wine, my dad splashed his whisky with coke, & I rocked 7 or 8 goblets of Merlot. It's important to note that we were all drinking because I was raised in a house without alcohol. It wasn't until I was in the teenage years where I witnessed my father drinking, drunkish rather, after a day on the golf course.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115182686189532402005-05-03T23:46:00.000-05:002005-05-04T00:14:27.803-05:00

I've stopped my thinking (haaaaaa...right). Well, my thinking into the future. Not that I've ever been a dweller, but things have crossed my mind before. I've wondered about the kids, the dude, the money, the relationship bonds. But I've never dwelled...had a "dream" if you will. I'm a self protector. I know better than to get my hopes caught up into a maybe when a definite reality is

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1115180044340668532005-05-03T23:13:00.000-05:002005-05-04T00:12:32.496-05:00

I've been meaning to bring this up for awhile now.Why are the majority of rappers so fucking ugly? Ludacris? Uuuugly. Fifty Cent? Ugly ass. P-Diddy? Uglier Assier. I could go on. Really. Jermaine DuNAST, Sir Mix-A-Don't, Fat Joe, Jay Z, M & M - Ew on all those fools. I know I can't end this without kickin' my shouts out to LL Cool J, whose lovely lips and justice of The Sexy in all

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1114576987569807942005-04-26T23:40:00.000-05:002005-04-26T23:58:44.900-05:00

A friend who I was supposed to meet up with earlier tonight to go see a movie called and asked if there was any way I could help her clean her apartment. Tonight.Uh, raise your hand if this strikes you as a little odd.I've known this chick since high school, have lost touch with her from graduation until now, so it's not like we just met or anything, but yo! Clean your own fucking house! I told

Saranoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1114138074129892312005-04-21T21:44:00.000-05:002005-06-06T22:59:10.456-05:00

This working in retail thing? Not so bad. It's not exactly where I see myself in 5 years, more like 5 months, but I like what it's doing for me. I get to move around a lot, I get to meet all kinds of folks, and I get to work on my people skills. I feel like I can talk to anyone now where before I was all "faint" and "bleebloo..um...neat". I am pooooooped right now though and am off to get a

Saranoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113965073491416822005-04-19T21:39:00.000-05:002005-04-19T21:46:41.340-05:00

Ever had one of those painful, annoying hiccups? I just had one and thank God it has passed. I'm done and I have just sent my email of closure. Y'all are some smart little spoonfuls of sugah.

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113887104982810402005-04-19T00:01:00.000-05:002005-04-19T00:05:04.983-05:00

Nothing like being jerked out of your happy place. But really, why shouldn't I expect another ride on the rollercoaster of Sara's Head while all the boysies get to be free of woe. yang!I just need closure. I never had any since the last conversation with Cowboy included a lot of "..." and "uh...er..." and "I mun know, I can't explain it" bullshit coming from his end. Yeah, everyone else has

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113751985366259212005-04-17T10:11:00.000-05:002005-04-17T10:33:05.366-05:00

Is it too soon for us to be friends again?Is that what we were before? Friends? I mean, I'd like to think that we had somewhat of a friendship in addition to all of the flirting, cooing, and talking about doin' it all of the time. And let's address "too soon", a coupling of words that I am confident you understand the full meaning of being that our little genesis of a relationship was "too soon

Saranoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113726706036305132005-04-17T03:29:00.000-05:002005-04-17T03:31:46.036-05:00

I just chauffeured a booty call for a girl I went to high school with and Random Dude At The Bar. I guess the only reason this is worth mentioning is because I felt totally uncomfortable by their 3 or so makeout breaks during the 45 minute ride. Is that necessary at this age? Is all I'm wondering. We all know the kiss by now, right? It just seems to me like you would go for the repetitive (

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113449429401123222005-04-13T22:27:00.000-05:002005-04-13T22:30:29.403-05:00

Things you should know about selling purses:1. People are assholes (actually most are really nice, but the asshats always stick out).2. People have more money than I thought was possible to spend in 10 minutes.3. Just because it's a higher end store doesn't mean thugs don't come in who look like they just got the shit beat out of them the night before (yeah, apparently we get gangstas all up

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113359663439083012005-04-12T21:26:00.000-05:002005-04-12T22:02:08.586-05:00

So you like? I love it. And I have this spectacularly funny (seriously. cracks my ass UP. go visit. you're welcome.) and benevolent person to thank for my new look. All of it. In fact, all I pretty much said was "uh could you somehow work in some pink and maybe some alcoholic type pictures?" and he was all "abracadabra splaDOW"... and there you have it. He even used one of my very own

Saranoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1113088057853665202005-04-09T17:49:00.000-05:002005-04-12T21:20:40.363-05:00

If there was ever a time in my life when I wanted to be trendy in my choice of clothes, it is now. Most everyone I work with looks like they just walked off the runway in some cutting edge lieeeke totally awesome, dude outfit. Being that they make right around what I do, money wise, I'm not sure how they can afford all of these items of clothing. and accessories. Good Lord! The accessories!

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1112907514656855212005-04-07T15:53:00.000-05:002005-04-07T15:58:34.656-05:00

I'm at the tail end of a cold I've been fighting for a week and a half. Needless to say, the loogies are abundant. Have you ever hawked a loog and held it in your mouth for a long time because you were too busy doing something to go and immediately spit it out? And it ends up becoming a monster amount of wet nast that no one should ever have to carry in their mouth? And did you ever

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1112897694034968232005-04-07T13:12:00.000-05:002005-04-07T13:18:04.706-05:00

First, thank you oh so very much for the birthday wishes if you sent me one. All of you guys make me feel tho thpecial with your kind words : )So I'm twenty five as of yesterday. Or as we say in Texas, twunny fehhhhve. I'm not gonna say that I don't feel 25 because really, how is anyone supposed to feel at any age? And who came up with the phrase "supposed to"? Because I don't think I care

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1112646186599893962005-04-04T15:20:00.000-05:002005-04-04T15:32:23.156-05:00

Is it really April? Spring? Daylight Savings time?Holy Good Lord, the time is flyin'. Okay, all I really wanted to say is that MY BIRTHDAY IS SO ON WEDNESDAY. woo! party! *crashes beer cans on head*I am all about the birthday. Well, I'm really all about finding a reason to celebrate just cuz I like to socialize, eat, and drink alcohol with purpose, but there is no need to search for a

Saranoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1112301816827714132005-03-31T14:37:00.000-06:002005-03-31T14:43:36.826-06:00

Remember when I scoffed at the idea of working in retail? I was TOTALLY kidding about that, by the way. Because I might just happen to know someone that works in the handbags department at a particular uppity retail establishment in Dallas and in no way would I ever shoot my nose in the air at someone who works with such prestigious merchandise. with a 20% discount.Yes, I have a job. I start

Saranoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1111982052053937122005-03-27T21:50:00.000-06:002005-03-27T21:57:55.793-06:00

Alrighty, big week coming up. Like I said before, I have three interviews this week, consecutively falling on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Well, the first one is more of a "lunch". I'm meeting my Uncle and Dad's friend's wife who works at a very, very (VERY) important bank in Dallas along with the personnel manager to discuss what I'm looking for and if they have any openings or any contacts.

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1111798496453797132005-03-25T18:48:00.000-06:002005-03-25T19:02:00.493-06:00

I wish the website had a picture of of these little beaut's, but alas, this will have to do. They remind me of Strawberry Shortcake. I love them so. I'm about to meet a friend of mine out for drinks. It feels so weird saying that as I have been, I dunno, a HERMIT for the last two months. Y'all, I've lived here two. months. Oh well, at least I'm in better spirits now. And I have new shoes!

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1111773013278321052005-03-25T11:46:00.000-06:002005-03-25T11:50:13.280-06:00

If you haven't been over at Mikey's blog to play the weekly match game yet, go on over and submit your answers before the panelists' answers are revealed. I just so happen to be a panelist this week (woo!) so go now!

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1111724102254441042005-03-24T22:12:00.000-06:002005-03-24T22:48:04.966-06:00

Get this crap. I was looking through the city I live in's list of registered sex offenders (well, you can't be too careful) and some dude who I went to middle school and high school with was on the list. Picture and everything. !I wasn't surprised. I mean the guy was always skeevy and would look at and say things to me in a way that well, justifies what I saw today. Dirty fucker. All of

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1111429640994736382005-03-21T12:22:00.000-06:002005-03-21T12:27:20.996-06:00

I don't know how to put this so I'm just gonna lay it out the first way that it comes out of my mouth.What's the big deal with autographed pictures of celebrities? (Well, I'll tell ya, Sara!)To prove that you actually (like, ohmigah) MET another human being. MET THEM. Here's the proof, everyone. They signed....THEIR NAME. I'm not sayin' that I wouldn't get a bit of the star struck bug if I

Saranoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1111036143214123052005-03-16T22:54:00.000-06:002005-03-16T23:09:03.216-06:00

After a break up, I typically have no sex drive. Until, wine. Gah. Stinking Merlot has to make me feel all fetching and shit. And lonely like a mofo. I guess the two kind of cancel each other out in the end. These are the things I think about people! Things! which have no solution! but analyzing? yes! do that!

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1110829938482534662005-03-14T13:50:00.000-06:002005-03-14T13:52:18.483-06:00

The Serotonin Fairy finally visited me overnight and today I feel grrrreat! Well, better. I've been on the phone with this recruiter and that recruiter and had a little chat with my Dad about finances this morning. Now he's all "of COURSE me and your Mom will help you out. What were you thinking when I said No, we can‘t help you with any of your payments", which makes total and complete

Saranoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1110597783772910612005-03-11T20:54:00.000-06:002005-03-11T21:27:07.780-06:00

I'm totally getting on my nerves with all of these wah posts, but good gravy it's cathartic and I need to get it all out or kablooey! there goes my head.So I am obviously in a low place right now. I wouldn't say I'm seriously depressed or anything because I've had that before. And what distinguishes this craptacular time in my life from that one is that I'm not hopeless and full of unrealistic

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1110560664964505782005-03-11T11:03:00.000-06:002005-03-11T21:27:30.803-06:00

So now that you guys have convinced me (yes, you totally convinced me) that marriage is actually a GOOD thing and there are people out there that make the decision worth it, I'm all wantin' one and shit. Sign me up for a best friend with a side of sexual attraction. Thanks a lot, you guys. Now instead of being empowered by The Bitter, I'm all let's cry about the beauty of love and I know I'm

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1110440476677795862005-03-10T01:40:00.000-06:002005-03-10T01:41:16.680-06:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'll always at various points in my life feel this anxious and hungry and scared all at once. I've forgotten what it's like to have confidence. I don't know if I ever really had it before. There's always been a need for validation, but doesn't that hold true for everyone? And isn't it that some just get a lot more validation than others? My Dad wants me to put off

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1110318126526658392005-03-08T15:25:00.000-06:002005-03-08T15:53:14.076-06:00

Will somebody flick me in the cheek the next time I get all confident about a job again? Here's the email I got from the recruiter I've been in contact with about The Job.Sara,Sorry I haven’t responded to you yet. I tried to follow up thismorning, and they are wanting to hold off scheduling an interview. As I told you before, I’m not able to get any detailed feedback on profiles. I get a yes,

Saranoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1110050477386175252005-03-05T13:01:00.000-06:002005-03-05T13:25:39.436-06:00

There's a phone tag situation going on with The Perfect Job Ever right now. I'm hoping to set up another interview next week. In the meantime, my uncle told me about a volunteer tutoring program that his church is involved with and asked me if I could help out since they are low on volunteers and high on kiddos. I haven't worked with kids since I was in high school. I loved (almost) every

Saranoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573573.post-1109721806688561172005-03-01T17:38:00.000-06:002005-03-01T18:03:26.690-06:00

Thank you guys for all of the crossed fingers and good luck wishes. Y'all totally made my day! Well, maybe getting the interview or just FINDING the job made my day, but y'all were definitely the icing on the cake, the cherries on top, the scenes for the next episode...every last one of ya's. Smooches (altoid strip ones, of course; ))I'm pleased to say that the interview went swimmingly and

Saranoreply@blogger.com6